If You Only Knew...

I will admit sincerely that the past couple of days have been rough for me spiritually and emotionally. I have felt like I'm missing out, like I don't belong, like I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. This has spilled over into my eating as I haven't really paid attention to what I've been eating and basically eating what I want without caring. But you know what.....that's OVER! God never ceases to amaze me and has spoken to me in the midst of my storm. I'm not out of it yet, but instead of hanging my head saying "woe is me," I will take this day as a day the LORD has given me and REJOICE in it!

Music is a passion of mine and I love the way God speaks to me through songs. There have been 3 songs that have spoken to me over the last few days. One I posted Monday - Broken. Another is a brand new song by Mark Condon -- Cover Me. The other is one I have heard countless times before and it really spoke to me. I can't let the devil keep taking what belongs to me! My joy and my peace - I want it ALL back!

I want it all back.

You may have thought you won that last round. You may have laughed. I almost fell down. Maybe you think I give up easy. But it's not over, I got more in me. You thought I stopped. You thought I sat down. But I am standin'! You made me mad now! You got some things I think you owe me. I've come to get back everything that you stole.

I want it all back.

You hit me hard. I should be knocked out. Things I've been through - don't even wanna talk about. You crossed the line. You violated me. I want revenge. I want everything back from A to Z. The battle's not mine. The battle is the Lord's. In the name of JESUS, I'm takin' it by force!

I want it all back!

If you only knew what I was gonna be after the storm you wouldn't have even bothered me!

And now I'm STRONGER. And I got more POWER. I'm a little bit WISER. And I for more STRENGTH. I for the ANOINTING. God God's FAVOR. And we're still STANDING. 

I want it all back!

I'm telling you -- God spoke to me in this song. I can't let the devil take what God has given me. I can't give him my joy, my success, my determination! I'm taking it ALL back and running full force into God's arms! The part I like best is: "Devil, if you only knew what I was gonna be after the storm you wouldn't have even bothered me!"

Through this whole thing, like I said it has affected my weight-loss determination. I still did my Zumba, but I didn't have the will-power to stay away from the "bad" foods. Without God as my focus, I lost focus! I didn't see my success. I just saw the road ahead and became discouraged. Now my mind is back where it needs to be and I am read to RUN! I'm ready to do something about it. I'm ready to do something that takes this journey to the next level. Pray for that if you will. I have an idea in my head, but I'm not sure how receptive an idea it is.

When I went to Zumba Monday, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I didn't look long because I've never liked looking at myself (full-body) in the mirror. I thought something though. I thought -- I can really tell I'm losing weight. I didn't dwell on it much because, at that point, I was still doubting and going through my "battle." But tonight -- I took a second look. I really looked at my full-body in the mirror. Staring back was someone I never thought I would see. I saw a "skinnier" version of ME! I saw someone that likes to exercise. Someone that cares about herself enough to start a journey that she has failed at many times before. And you know what -- I LIKED IT! I really can tell I'm losing weight. I can see the difference...but more importantly, I can FEEL the difference! I know I still have a LONG way to go, but I see the obstacles I've already overcome and I know I can do more!

Frustrated

I am really struggling right now and ask for your prayers. It is not necessarily with my weight-loss journey, but something going on in my life -- mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I am conflicted with where I am right now in a couple of different situations in my life. I just don't know what to do or how to feel. I am frustrated with it all.  I'm not sure where to go from here because, frankly, I don't necessarily know where "here" is right now or where to even start. There's a lot going on in my mind and the environment around me. Honestly -- I'm confused. I'm discouraged. I'm conflicted. I'm an outsider. I hate feeling this way! I really need your prayers for God to show me His will, what I need to do, and to strengthen me.

I Dare You!

I was watching another video on YouTube of the song "New Season" and this was the preacher's preface to the song...

God is getting ready to tear the veil off the Heavenlies and what has been held up is getting ready to be released. The people that have been under are getting ready to come up over. Those that have been forgotten are gonna be remembered. The enemy has held back generations long enough, but God is about ready to give us a NEW season. A season of power! A season of prosperity! A season where what has been taken from you has got to be brought back to you. I dare you to praise God like you know that it's already here!

It's a new season. Are you claiming all that's yours??

New Season

Okay, so if you've read my blog from last week, then you know how frustrated I am with my job right now. Well, we've also been in a spontaneous revival at my church this week. I wasn't able to go Monday and Tuesday, but when I went Wednesday -- OMG! God knew I was going to be there and He knew exactly what I needed to hear because the evangelist preached right to me. Have you ever been there before? It's scary yet comforting at the same time -- to know that God is speaking to YOU and telling you exactly what you need to hear and do for exactly what is going on in your life at that specific moment! The preacher even started singing a song that I have found encouraging so many times before but haven't heard in a while....

I'm telling you, God moved in that service Wednesday night! God gave me the job I have right now, and I gave it back to him that night. He knows I can't handle all the drama and can only make it with his help. This is a just season and my NEW season is coming!! God has bigger and better for me! Satan doesn't like it either because today he attacked me at work so hard. I was literally singing this song at my desk....and God helped me make it through. I know it's not going to be easy waiting, but HE will help me through!

The devil's time is up, no longer can he bother me.

'Cause the controller of the universe He fathers me.

And it's transferable, your children's children will be free.

It's a new season.

If you don't know it now, you need to know it's Jubilee. 

Your debts at cancelled and your children walk in victory.

It's all available to you right now, just taste and see.

It's a new season!

It's a new season. It's a new day.

Fresh anointing, is flowing my way.

It's a season of power and prosperity.

It's a new season coming to me!