Reflections

The past couple of weeks have really been a roller coaster for me. I have not been as dedicated to my eating as I should be. It hit me after I stepped on the scale 2 weeks ago. I didn't hit the goal I had set for myself for the past month. Automatically I start thinking about and reflecting on why I failed....

I had been eating too much junk and carb-loaded foods. Some of it was little things, but little things add up! No one really knew what was going on; I really didn't even realize what I was doing. It was almost like I was subconsciously sabotaging my weight-loss. But I finally woke up and realized what was happening. I knew I was on a slippery slope and I had to make the CONSCIOUS decision to stop. I literally had a confessional with my BFF/accountability partner Jessica on Wednesday of last week, and then with my trainers on Thursday. It was tough, but I knew it had to be done. The more people that knew meant more people that could keep me accountable during this phase of my journey.

After my confessionals, I decided to make weekly goals for myself with my food. Last week I made a goal of making sure at least 1/2 of my weekly meals (11 meals) followed the Paleolithic lifestyle. I made it -- I had 12 Paleo meals last week! This week, I have the same goal. It's going to be a little tougher with Thanksgiving, but I'm determined to make it! I HAVE to make it!

This little bump in the road really made me think about where I came from and the progress I have made. Before, my life was all about the junk and carb-loaded foods! I didn't care at all what I ate. I loved my bread, sweets, chocolate, cake, fried foods.....I loved it all. I still enjoy chocolate, but a more natural version and not every day! I still enjoy muffins, breads, cakes, etc - but grain and gluten free! I still enjoy foods that I love, but in a healthier way.

I know my blogs here lately have been about my journey thus far. This Thanksgiving season has really brought be to a point of reflection. I am so very thankful for the opportunity God has given me to turn my life around. It's hard to look back at just over a year ago and see the road I was headed down. I look a pictures and can't believe the difference. I can't believe how a year changes things! I can see the difference in my pictures, but sometimes I don't feel it. I mean, I feel the healthy difference, but can't always feel the "weight" difference. I hope that makes sense.

I hit a snag in the road and begin to doubt things. It's not pretty! But then I get reassurance from people around me that I am doing such a good job, that they are proud of me, that I'm an inspiration to them. It renews my confidence and determination for this journey I am on. Then I try on an XXL t-shirt that I was for sure wouldn't fit, but IT DID!


my XXL shirt!! :)



I begin to look at pictures from when I first started and realize that I am making progress. No matter how I "feel," my body is changing -- for the BETTER! I remember why I am on this journey. I can't go back down that road. I can't go back to where I was. I will die if I do. There will be ups and downs, but it is so worth it! I will one day be the person I know I'm meant to be. In the meantime, I will enjoy this journey and keep pushing forward.

What a difference!!
January 5k (time 71:40) vs November 5k (time 59:30)

OH! I just realized I haven't even told you about the Color Run 5k I did this weekend! OH EM GEE!!!! It was SO MUCH FUN! Jenny couldn't make it, so Erica's mom came and enjoyed the weekend with us. We got up to Charlotte Friday evening to get our race packets. Saturday morning we woke up early, enjoyed a Paleo breakfast (courtesy of my trainer, Laurie!) and headed to Lowe's Motor Speedway for the race. There were so many people - I think they said over 12,000 -- and we all looked the same in our white! I had a goal to finish in under an hour. My 5k time from September was 69:40, so I knew it was going to be a tough challenge trying to cut 10 minutes off. After the first hill, I was doubtful that I would make my goal. Then the second hill hit, and I just knew I wouldn't make it! Well, I finished in 59:30!!! I made it!!!!! I was so stinkin' excited! I honestly didn't think I would after those hills, which I really didn't expect. This was a huge feat for me and I can't wait for my next race!

Collage

Color FUN!

me and my SIL, Amanda - before and after!

Color Throw Celebration

yes, I AM!!

VICTORY!!

Success and Blessings

God has guided me along my journey and I have been very successful thus far. In the past 3.5 weeks I have lost an additional 2.5 inches! I continue to be amazed at the changes in my body. The fat is “melting” away and I am gaining much more muscle. Muscle that I never imagined having!

Since starting at Inspire 4 Life Fitness back in January, just 10 months ago, I have lost a total of 38.75 inches!! The instructors and trainers are so enthusiastic about fitness. They love sharing their passion and helping people reach their fitness goals. My thoughts and feelings about "working out" and "fitness" have completely changed since I started taking classes at the studio. It is amazing. When I started, there were so many things that I COULD NOT do. I couldn't even make it through an entire song at Zumba class without being winded and having to stop. Now, I can make it through the whole class, minus water breaks! I couldn't walk a mile without stopping. Now, I have done 2 5ks and have a 3rd scheduled for next weekend. The first one, I did stop once or twice, this last one I didn't stop at all, and the one coming up I plan to run intervals! I couldn't do pushups, let alone even think about doing burpees, suicide drills, and mountain climbers. But now, I can do it all! Some of it I have to modify, but I can still do it -- all since starting at the studio. I'm telling you, hard work and dedication REALLY WORKS!

I have been blessed with these fantastic instructors/trainers and so many supporters that have helped me along the way. Every time I start to get discouraged, someone is there to pick me up and push me a little farther. I have developed new friendships; friendships that will last forever.

There is one new friend that I really want to appreciate - Crystal McKern! I only knew your name through us having a mutual friend. I friended you on Facebook and we developed a connection. I have watched you start your own journey and you are doing such a wonderful job. You encouarge me without even realizing it! We remind each other when we're hurtin' from a workout that HARD WORK PAYS OFF! Because we're on such a similar journey, we can grow [or technically SHRINK] with each other, share experiences, successes, failures, and encourage each other. I am proud to call you my friend!

Words could NEVER express my gratitude and everyone's continued support and encouragement in my life. THANK YOU!

Day 6: Double Workouts and Discoveries

So yesterday was my first workout with Carlos. We scheduled it for 4:45pm before Zumba so I could do both. I was nervous about working out with him. I didn’t know what to expect. I pull up and he’s sitting outside on a tractor tire with 2 sledge hammers and a kettle ball. We went inside for warm-ups -- squats, forward and backward lunges, pushups, hip circles, and leg extensions. Those hip circles and pushups got me! Don’t let the size fool you …my arms have no strength! On we go outside to walk; and Carlos has a faster pace than I usually do and that was regular tempo. We did intervals of “slow” and speed – concentrating on breathing and pushing with the arms. We walked around the parking lot and restaurants, then back to the studio and on to the rotations. This included walk-out burpees, step-ups, push-ups, and sledge hammer swings….all but the step-ups on the tractor tire. I think he was supposed to have kettle ball swings in there too, but he forgot those. We got 3 rounds in before he let me “relax” before Zumba started. Laurie also took some pics and video for the transformation.

The workout with Carlos wasn’t as bad as I think I expected it to be, but it was still challenging. I could hear that voice in my head saying “you can’t do this” and “it’s okay to stop”….but I didn’t listen. I knew I COULD do it and NOT to stop! I had to keep pushing – through the pain and the doubtful thoughts. This was just workout #1. I HAD to keep going! And I did. I made it through his workout AND Zumba! Now, granted, I couldn’t go at the intensity I usually do during class; but I did my best, kept up, and I made it work! At the end, most definitely I was worn out. But it was worth it. The pain in my arms: worth it. The pain in my thighs: worth it. The soreness in my hips: worth it. The confidence that I can do it again: WORTH IT!

In addition to my workouts yesterday, I was finally able to weigh. I stopped by the hospital at the Wellness Center after work. They were actually already closed, but the door was still open. I walked in and the director was so nice and let me go ahead and weigh anyway. I’m not about to disclose that number in public, but I’ll just tell you I was surprised. It wasn’t quite as bad as I expected but not where I want to be. It really made me think about where I started from. I don’t know how much weight I have lost to date, but the 39.5 inches has to be a lot. Adding that to what I weigh now is – it’s reality. When I started this journey, I was the size of TWO overweight people….not just two average people, but overweight adults! It really makes me see just how bad things really were. I’m still not where I need to be, by any means, but I’m working on it. It is a long journey, but I know I’ll get there and I am blessed and privileged to have Inspire 4 Life on my side right now pushing me along!

I Am Who I Am

My honest statement: My weight/health is what it is because I ate what I ate and didn't do what I should have done. I'm changing that now. I have been on this journey whole-heartedly since September 11, 2011. I kinda started before that, but that date is when I consciously made the decision to attack this thing full-force. That is the day I first measured....my starting point. One thing that I keep in my head is that "The only thing standing in the way of me is ME!"

This is a personal journey that only I can take. No one can do it for me. I have to be the one to change. I have to be the one to eat different. I have to be the one to get out and walk. I have to be the one to do the exercises. But even though this is a personal journey, it is SO beneficial to have someone walking with me....literally and figuratively. So I cannot even begin to tell you how much it means to have an accountability partner! If you're on a similar journey, I encourage you to get one if you don't already. I'll be glad to stand by you if you can't find one. It has made such a difference in my decisions and confidence. If it were not for Jessica and Leah, my 2 main partners, I can pretty much guarantee that I would have given up a long time ago!

This journey is HARD, it gets discouraging, I have failed -- but with people by my side, it's easier to get back up and keep going. They push me, support me, criticize me, encourage me....I am blessed to have them on this journey with me. I'm sure you're saying to yourself, "Criticize you??" YES, the provide me with criticisms that I wouldn't accept from anyone else.  One of my favorite quotes right now is this: Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie. *Robert Brault* I am lucky to have them be truthful to me. Yes, it's hard sometimes, but I know they love me. I know this because they tell me the truth and don't beat around the bush with me or try to sugar-coat things. It's scary, but I know they're behind me 100% -- success or fail...and they push me so I don't fail!

It feels so good to finally get back on track with paying more attention to what I am eating and putting in my body and exercising. I'll admit, the past few weeks have not been great. But I can tell you why -- I didn't have any goals. I hadn't sat down, talked it out, and committedly decided what I would be working on. I have some set goals now though. They are:

1. Eat out only 3 times/week.
2. Eat less than 3 snacks/day.
3. Exercise 4 times/week.
4. Blog 4 times/week.
5. Drink more water!

It is so important to have goals. And it takes a plan to achieve your goals. I encourage you to take some time, sit down, and map out your goals. It doesn't have to necessarily be for weight-loss, it could be for your career or just life in general. Just DO IT!!!!

Failing is not Failure

I saw this quote on Pinterest tonight "Failing is not failure." I needed to see this today. I've felt like a failure in my eating the past week. But you know, I can't let it define my journey! I'm not going to let it! I am who I choose to be -- and that is NOT a failure!

While I can see myself making better choices for myself, I can see that I'm starting to drift back to my old ways of eating. So many times before, this is where I would just give up. I would let myself keep drifting until I didn't care/worry about what I was eating anymore. .....but THIS TIME I am deciding that my health is worth the struggle!

This is a battle that I'm going to be facing for the rest of my life. This is not just a fad diet. This is getting healthy. This is not having to lay dying on a hospital bed because they can't do anything for me due to my weight. This is pushing forward to obtain the goals I've always dreamed of for myself. I can see where I'm going wrong -- now it's up to me to change and get back on the right path. 

I don't care how much power, brilliance, or energy you have, if you don't harness it and focus it on a specific target, and hold it there, you're never going to accomplish as much as your ability warrants

*Zig Ziglar*

Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something to stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.

*Earl Nightingale*

Desire is the key to motivation, but it is determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek.

*Mario Andretti*

My [New] Story

I can't even begin to tell you my WHOLE story, so let me just give you a few details and start from the past year. I have been fat all my life....from elementary school all through my adult life. I would think from time to time that I need to lose weight and would start to diet. But within weeks I was back to my old habits and going about my life. I hate to say it, but I was "content" with being fat....that's how I'd always been and I'd come to the realization that I was always going to be that way. WRONG!!! Last year, I went to the doctor for a regular check-up and my blood pressure was SKY HIGH. I knew in the back of my mind that it could always be a possibility because my mom has it but when the doctor told me what the reading was, I completely broke down. She referred me to a cardiologist to have it checked out....that was just as scary! Well, I went to the cardiologist and he did a complete blood panel and an EKG. Everything was fine with my heart and cholesterol. I just had the high blood pressure. I thank God that it wasn't worse -- at my weight, I'm surprised (and blessed!) I don't have a million other things wrong with me! Anyway, my cardiologist bluntly told me that if things didn't change, I would die very early. MAN what a wake-up call! I knew my life had to change....my eating habits, my activity level, my thoughts about food -- ALL of it!!

I was at Thirty-One Conference with some friends that I went to college with [we all reunited over 31!] back in July. I had never really shared my story with anyone or what the doctors were telling me....but at conference, one of the girls I was with - Jessica - and I had a "gettin nekid" conversation about it ALL!! I poured it all out to her and she shared some concerns and thoughts that she had about me during college and even now. Needless to say, we are now closer than ever! She has helped me to get going -- and stay on -- my journey to health and fitness. She is my accountability partner and helps me to set my short-term and long-term goals. Honestly, without Jessica, I would have probably given up a long time ago!!

I started my journey FULL FORCE on 9/11/2011 and so far have lost a total of 20.5 inches and my blood pressure is considerable lower! I still have a long ways to go and this is more than just a "diet". This is a complete lifestyle change and I want to include you all on this journey. I want to blog about my thoughts, foods, activities, and goals. My ultimate goal in doing this is to continue to keep myself accountable and to hopefully inspire others that IF I CAN DO THIS, SO CAN YOU!!!